Kate Morris is a mother and journalist of two who lives in London with her husband Luke. Here, she shares the reality of poor sleep and advice for other insomnia.
Kate Morris has only five to six hours of sleep per night on average. (Photo by Luke White)
The most frustrating part of my life is that I can’t fall asleep. Since I was 18, I have suffered from insomnia.
My average time is about five to six hours a night, and occasionally I spend three to four days a day. Seven hours of sleep are the best and I feel invincible when I (rarely) achieve this. I envy those who have been sleeping well.
Nearly three-quarters (71%) of the UK adults do not recommend sleeping for seven to nine hours a night, while one of the five of us does not sleep.
How insomnia affects me
Lack of sleep affects my mood, memory, focus and brain power. On days when I barely had sleep, I might feel anxious, lack of energy, a grumpy temper, a judgment, and unable to go all out.
Not sleeping is harmful to mental health. I often thought that if I had experienced a better sleep I would be a more positive person. It was no accident that I spent only a year in my entire job to get to the office. My sleep-deficient days used to be so bad that I had to take a nap in the middle of the day.
I often thought that if I had experienced a better sleep I would be a more positive person.
It was also frustrating and boring to wake up while lying down. My thoughts drift as negative thoughts escalate. I deciphered the trivial dissatisfaction and decided that I had no friends and concluded that I had achieved nothing. It takes concentration to get these ideas diverted.
My trigger
There are a few triggers that can make sleep more elusive. Caffeine prevented me from sleeping, so I avoided it in the afternoon. Chocolate keeps me awake. A party or some kind of entertainment might not stimulate me to fall asleep. Champagne or vodka is like an adrenaline lens.
New beds and places are also a trigger. Last summer, a friend invited us to Greece. It was so exciting, but I panicked when I discovered that my melatonin pellets didn’t have enough pills to last for a week. I woke up three nights, hot and uneasy. Thankfully, the days are not taxed, mostly absorbing the sun and falling into the sea, but the night is lonely and depressed.
Kate Morris works from home in part because it’s easier to manage her broken nights in this way. (Photo by Luke White)
Search for solutions
I’ve tried many sleep methods, some working hours are short. Once, after tips from my insomnia friend, I took a weekend class for Acem meditation. I found that the process of repeating the mantra helped me to get back to sleep. I also use it for short naps. It still works from time to time, but not foolproof.
My daughter gave me Christmas lavender and magnesium lotion and a few weeks later, combined with the melatonin medication, I slept very high.
Recently, I’ve tried listening to podcasts, but if the content is too interesting, it may be thrilling rather than soporcor. My daughter gave me Christmas lavender and magnesium lotion and after a few weeks the melatonin worked well and I slept very deeply.
Recently, I heard Fearne Cotton on Davina McCall’s Start podcast saying that she is currently unable to fall asleep one night on the BBC2 Morning Radio Show due to anxiety, which ultimately means she has to quit. This resonated with me because if I had something important to do the next day, the fear of not sleeping usually kept me awake.
Coping with young children
When my two kids were young, I almost went crazy with fatigue. Sleep rupture became even more complicated when my toddler son learned how to climb stairs from bed to our room. He will walk into our bed and I will not be able to fall asleep again.
One morning, I went crazy with exhaustion, and I came to the kitchen and actively rushed to our AU pair because there was no dishwasher full. She snatched it back and I left the room and cried. I felt demonized, not myself, as if my personality had changed.
On the same day, I put my son in the nursery and asked to speak to the principal. When she asked me if I was okay, I told her in tears that my son woke me up in the early morning. She instructed me to take him back to his room right away, rather than letting him sleep in our bed.
I had to lean against the door so he couldn’t back down. This sounds radical and extreme (not the kind of parenting I insist on), but I’m desperate. She said it will work within 48 hours and she was right.
The dangers of sleeping pills
After my daughter was born, my sleep became so bad that my intuition that I started taking sleeping pills. The doctor initially advised me to quit caffeine, listen to music and meditate. A month later, I went back and begged for the pills and she gave me a prescription.
At first, it was nice to know that I would sleep, even if it was powerless and not particularly resting. Soon though, I noticed that I started relying on pills and they weren’t working either. The doctor updated my prescription with a higher dose.
I finally decided to give up sleeping pills on the day I was absent.
I began to feel permanent premenstrual and on the edge. I finally decided to quit, and I was reluctant to leave a bunch of cash at the cash point and then fell down the street. I still keep them in the bedside drawer for a few months, which is reassuring.
What can help me sleep
Insomnia is unbearable, but I think it can improve sleep patterns. It’s also gratifying to know that not everyone needs eight hours of sleep. I’m OK in six hours, really good in seven hours, although I can survive under low par, but five.
If I stay alert and turn off the screen before going to bed, don’t eat too late, drink sleepy tea, take melatonin, spray the soles of my feet with magnesium and lavender spray, I should go to bed. However, there is no guarantee how long it takes, but that doesn’t matter.
I have a much better sleep than before and I am grateful.
Photos provided Photography by Luke White.
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